Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
