I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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