wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
