found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
