I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
