Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
