Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
