When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
