im drinking this country out of the recession.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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