Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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