Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
soo... how was my night?
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