Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
