Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
