He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
