like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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