it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You did what with his pubic hair?
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