How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
