the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
