I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
