How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Welp...herpes.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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