So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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