All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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