I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
