i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
