Dual....:-)
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
