Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
