Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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