While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
