EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
