No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just invented taco cereal.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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