Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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