I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
