He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
