me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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