New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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