just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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