I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
