That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize