Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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