i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
