So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
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