I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
