Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize