Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
