dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
our cab driver is having phone sex.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
