have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
