Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
