dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
