is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
