The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i think i just lost a toe
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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