he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
