the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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