I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
