when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
