Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
