Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
