Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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