Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
