Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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