i think i have two assholes
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she pinky promised me she was 18
where are you?
Hypothermia
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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