Where are you?
In a non slutty way
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
